Recently I made a big decision. From here on out, I will no longer give advice that I wouldn’t take myself. I had no idea how this simple change would affect every aspect of my social life. It’s human nature of most of us … we are quick to judge other people’s life situations and give advice when in reality, its advice we wouldn’t be so quick to take ourselves. But this NEW me … has somehow  become a relationship counselor to my best friends.

Whoa. 

    All girlfriends are there for their other girly friends, but now that I’ve become an advice giver that actually takes their own advice, the pressure is REALLY on.  I’ve always been an optimist, but I haven’t always been so rational. I didn’t’ realize how much my friends relied on me and the things I tell them… until I started to REALLY LISTEN, instead of waiting until it was my time to speak. I admit it. I was accustomed to judging my friends relationships and marking them with a big X before I even really heard the whole story. I think it’s a part of growing up. It has also subconsciously made me realize what I really want in life by reexamining what I tell my friends.  It’s actually amazing. I’m sorting through my own past experiences with Mr. Wrongs and Mr. Right Now’s and I’m really starting to have a good idea of what Mr. Right will be like. It’s exciting!

   So, each of my friends are so different from the others. Sometimes I’m amazed that we even get along. One of my best girlfriends, Kate, who lives in New Jersey gave me the best compliment the other night while we were visiting Toni Ann, the girl that completes our little friend triad, in Long Island. I think this compliment reflects my new ways of thinking, so I was excited! We were out, drinking margaritas, and I offered a little nugget of optimism into a truly negative conversation. Kate looked at me and said something that I will declare now, as the best compliment I ever received. “You always know the right thing to say,” she said.  Those simple words really made my day. I think it really touched me because I knew deep down, I made a change within myself to stop blabbing ridiculous advice and start only speaking meaningful, useful, insightful words. 

   Kate and I get really deep into conversations about life, love, and lust. She’s always been that really strong friend who you can always turn to for tough love, but yesterday, I’m the one who brought HER to tears. Long story short, we got talking about relationships and the fact that Mr. Right will be a guy who makes you feel comfortable and ELECTRIC. I believe that we all deserve fireworks AND comfort in a relationship. You can’t settle for one and hope the other magically happens. That clearly, is not your Mr. Right.  I don’t think she wanted to hear that about her current relationship that is on the surface “perfect,” but knowing how ELECTRIC she’s felt before… it was something I just had to say. Mr. Right is comfortable and electric … and NO it’s not wishful thinking, it’s destiny and what we all deserve. My mom always used to tell me how I’m going to meet lots of Mr. Wrongs and MR RIGHT NOWS until I meet Mr. Right … but she didn’t tell me how much fun and how dramatic it would be figuring out if Mr. Right Now is Mr. Right or not!

   Without going into the details of her personal life, the advice I gave her is advice that I give to at least one person every single day.  Do what makes you happy now.

    It’s simple isn’t it? Do what makes you happy now. We often get lost in the fantasy of our future that we don’t worry about our present. Just do what makes you happy now.

Ok, that was a lot of thought for one day. Happy Hump Day!