Sleep deprived doesn't even do it. It's more like COMPLETELY DRAINED. I went to Denver for a few days for an annual radio convention type thing and even though the time change is a mere 2 hours, it screwed me ALL UP. I feel like I didn't sleep for a second! Although the convention itself was amazing and really motivating ... I really had the best/worst life experience on my travels to and from Denver. It's a 4 hour flight and I was lucky enough to get a direct flight. Phew! (Or so I thought) I made sure I booked an aisle seat going in both directions and I really thought I was in the clear. Nope. Of course the nice person in me HAD TO EXIST on both flights when the woman sitting next to me BOTH TIMES, asked me to switch seats with her husband so they could sit together. I didn't even mull it over. I kindly stood up and took his seat ...


If only I knew that this would become the flight from hell, I would have pretended I couldn't hear her through my little IPOD earbuds. On the flight THERE, I ended up with a middle seat. On my left was a cute little Asian girl who kept sneezing and on my right was what SEEMED to be a nice professional man on a business trip. I got cozy, buckled my seat belt, and took out a  book. I only had 6 more chapters to go and I was determined to finish it on this flight. It is the equivalent to a CHICK FLICK in book form, so the titles to the chapters were all pretty provocative. Would you EVEN BELIEVE the man to my right who appeared "professional" was READING OVER MY FREAKIN SHOULDER?? Not only was he READING MY BOOK OVER MY SHOULDER ON A CONFINED 4 hour flight, but he was COMMENTING! I flipped the page at one point and he actually ASKED ME TO FLIP IT BACK SO HE COULD FINISH. WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT?????????


I didn't want to be rude, but are you serious? Oh boy, it got better. He started making CONVERSATION about the freakin CHAPTER TITLES! What?! I put on my IPOD and pretended to fall asleep. The longest four hours of my life ... until the way home ...

Coming back was EVEN WORSE and those 4 hours literally felt like a week. Again, I was asked to switch my seat with a husband and wife. WHAT IS WITH THAT? You've been married for 20 years, you see each other everyday, don't you want a few hours apart? Apparently not. I moved, I let the woman out of her middle seat and I moved over. On my right sat a really quiet man ... with post nasal drip like you wouldn't believe. He was talking to himself the entire time and using his shirt sleeve to wipe his nose in a really forceful upward manner. On my left was a man with THE worse body odor I have ever smelled. It was like he hadn't showered in days, ran a few 5k's, and then tossed on some nice clothes that were worn by the meat man or something. DISGUST. It would have been SOMEWHAT bearable if this man didn't speak to me, but he felt the need to READ MY ROLLING STONE over my SHOULDER! Doesn't anyone have COMMON COURTEST anymore? All I’m asking is that you act like a HUMAN not an ANIMAL. Quit reading over my shoulder, please shower, and don't make small talk in CLOSE QUARTERS when you haven't brushed your teeth in 3 years! I seriously wanted to vomit.

Lesson learned : Don't fly alone. That way, you always have two well groomed, non-smelly, normal people sitting next to you. I don't know what kind of friends you have, so I can't guarantee they won't wipe snot on their sleeve.